It's definitely been a while. Things are going well. The house is amazing. We are so blessed beyond belief. Every morning Clover and I go out to water the plants and then I sit and enjoy a cup of tea, watching my little sweet girl play in her yard while listening to all the beautiful birds. I love it! I love having a place that Clover can play and enjoy the outdoors. I love tending my garden and yard, molding it into something beautiful. It is very satisfying. This is the first time ever that my garden is a thriving healthy place. The plants are green and the tomatoes have little green ones growing already. I use herbs from my herb garden weekly. Its super fun to be able to go out and pluck various things to use in my cooking. Overall I am happy although I am still searching for something. As full as my life is and as blessed as we are I am not quite content. I don't know what it is I am looking for. More children, a purpose in life, a career, education, more things, friends, a different body, I don't know. As I pray about it over and over the answer I get is a deeper relationship with my God.
My prayer:
Lord, Daddy, Abba, Father, I cry out to you today. I am missing something. There is a deep longing in my heart and I don't know what it craves. I try to fill it with things but I have yet to satisfy this longing. Lately I just want to drink and smoke away my thoughts. I am tired of obsessing over things of this world. I am blessed beyond measure with an amazing family, a beautiful home, food on the table, everything I need, but I am still missing something. I desperately long for more. Help me to fill this void. Guide me, show me where you want to take me. Open my eyes. Help me to be content. I love you with all my heart. Please take me in your arms. Let me feel your love. I need you. All I need is you. Thank you.
Love,
your Baby Girl
His answer:
Precious child of mine. I love you immeasurably. I knew you before you were even a thought in your parents minds. I long to spend time with you. Come to me. I will fill your void. Crawl into my lap; I will ease your torment. Study my word and live the life I have given you to its fullest. You are my beloved daughter. I love you with every inch of my being.
Love,
your Daddy
