This Thing Called Life

It's an amazing feeling to know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in life right now. I always hope I am doing the right thing, making the right decisions, listening to what God has planned for my life and the steps it takes to get there but I am always so uncertain. This morning I just feel an amazing confirmation that no matter what happens I am where I am supposed to be. I never thought I would end up in this place. I've taken so many wrong turns who knew I would be able to untwist the path I had taken and end up right where I am. Amazing how God can take things and use them to bring you to where he wants you even if at times that is on your knees. I wouldn't change how I got here. There have been many highs and definitely some extremely low lows but it has made me who I am. For those of you who don't know my story I will share some of it. At 18 years old, after several years of using a razor to cry tears that never came I decided that life was not worth living and downed a bottle of sleeping pills and chased it with a pint of Guinness. It wasn't my time and by the grace of God I was able to drive myself to the hospital and survived. Not long after I started using alcohol to kill the pain. I loved being numb to it all. This led me to other things and I ended up finding first weed, then ecstasy, meth, and a number of other drugs that made me forget who I was, what I believed, and most of all the emotions that made me human. I spent a few years in a drug and alcohol induced haze and rarely saw my family. I was a mess and when I hit rock bottom I hit hard. I ended up back at home and with the help of my parents I was able to get clean. It wasn't to last. I met a guy and drifted right back into the lifestyle although it was more about the alcohol and weed than anything else. Alcohol was an easy out. After being together for a couple years the guy and I broke up which caused me to fall deeper into the alcohol than I had ever been. It was at this time that I met Pete. He came into my Starbucks after a bender himself and asked me out on a date. It was this day that changed my life forever. I know for a fact that God has a plan for my life if nothing else because I should not be here right now. There were so many times that I know God had to have sent more than one angel to guide me safely through life. believe with all my heart he sent me Pete to share this journey with and to encourage and lift me up when I am down. He is an amazing person who inspires me to better myself. Now we share a wonderful life together with an amazing little girl. Thank you Lord for guiding me and saving me from myself.