Don't leave me hangin'

It's been a bit since I last wrote a blog so let's do a little catch up. Christmas was a lot of fun. Mason went with Laurie, Brenda, and Eryn on a road trip so we had our Christmas a week early. First we went to see Despicable Me (new favorite movie by the way), then home for some burritos and presents. Mason was so tired by the time we got home for presents he could have cared less. The next morning however he was super stoked about all the new toys. For Christmas Eve we went to Jasmine for dinner with the Rogers and Beth, Wally, and Laura. That was the best present ever. Five years ago in that same restaurant Pete asked me to marry him. Everybody was there and we were all reading our fortune cookies. Pete waited until the end. He said, "Mine says Kristin will you marry me?" I was speechless. He held out the ring and said "Hey don't leave me hangin' ". "Oh...yes!" One of the best moments of my life. I can't believe it has already been five years. Ahhhmazing! I'm glad we got to go there for dinner. On Christmas we hung out with the Roger's, ate Costco muffins and watched Despicable Me. It was pretty rad. All in all it was a nice relaxing weekend. Mimi and I decided one of our new Christmas season traditions is watching White Christmas. What a great movie too! It wasn't quite a white Christmas for us but this week, especially today it has been pretty snowy. I LOVE IT!!! I am all about the snow. Things are going pretty good. Clover is cute as ever and I miss Mason's guts. Pete is doing amazing at his new store. I am so excited to see what the future holds. Life is great!!!

Praise You in This Storm

Pete got promoted!!! YEAH!!! I am so stinkin' proud of that man there aren't enough words to express it. He works so hard to provide for our family and I am eternally thankful for him and all he does. Pete deserves this promotion more than anyone I know. It is definitely a new chapter in our lives and I am so excited to have the opportunity to share it with him.

Let's talk about the newest addition to our family. I so love and appreciate having him as a part of my life. He teaches me new things and old things again everyday. I love waking up and seeing his sweet face peeking around the corner bursting with excitement for what the day holds. Lately it has been a bit of a struggle. He has made the choice on a daily basis for the past week and a half to not take a nap. I would have no problem with that except for the fact that he then turns into a child I no longer recognize. He throws fits by the bucketful, talks back, screams at me, pushes every one of Kelton's buttons he can find, and just really struggles to find his happy place. I know this is all a part of his age and self discovery in this very difficult time but geez louise!!! It is not all directly related to the napless days but those definitely contribute. I know when I am tired how much more ornery I get so I can only imagine what it does to three year old. Right now I am taking everyday just one at a time. I feel totally helpless, not at all prepared or capable, and just all around a little bit down. I think every time something happens it make me feel like a failure as a mom. Everyday I look at Mason and tell him how much I love him even when we have these hard days. After every time out I make sure he knows that I love him no matter what. This too will pass. All I can do is my best and continue providing love and support to this sweet little boy. I am so thankful for the support I get from Pete. He blesses me everyday with his strength and amazing attitude towards life! God has brought all of us together; Laurie, Mason, Pete, Clover, and I; for a reason. I am thankful for such a wonderful family!!! Mason is going with Laurie and Brenda on a trip for two weeks in a couple of days. I sure am going to miss his little guts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ype1xE0wzsg This is one of my favorite songs and definitely speaks my heart during trying times. It is called Praise You in This Storm by Casting Crowns.

On a happier note, we had our little Christmas with Mason last night since he will be traveling. It was a lot of fun. First we went to the movie Despicable Me. Hilarious!!! I love it!!! Then we came home ate burritos and opened presents. Mason got a ton of new things because not only did he get the presents form my parents, grandparents, and Pete and I, he also got a bunch of new stuff from the neighbor across the street. The neighbor has a few grandsons and they have grown out of some their toys so he gave them to us. He gave us a little people farm with all the animals, people, tractors, etc. Also a Mickey Mouse race track with cars included and the entire small soft set of Chuck the Dump Truck and friends. Amazing!!! Mason couldn't decide which one to play with. He just kept going from one thing to the next. How fun!!! It was sweet to watch him. Today is going to be an amazing day, the beginning of an amazing week!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

Oh Man!!!

My baby is walking! Wow!!! I just can't even believe it. I keep running over and over and over it in my mind. She is WALKING. She gets so excited after about five or six steps she goes straight forward but really AHHHHHMAZING!!! It's crazy how proud I feel for her accomplishment. I want to tell and show everyone. I took her to Pete's work and then drove to Grandpa's and after that went over to Mimi and John's just to let her show off her latest trick. Is she really old enough for this? Has it been that long that she could pull this off? What happened to that little baby who could barely open her eyes, who slept for hours on end and laid content in my arms? Oh the first time I laid eyes on her my heart melted. A little slice of me and Pete right there in my arms. What a precious little gift from God. Not only is she a walking machine, her first birthday is coming up. This all just blows me away. I just hold tight each precious little moment I have with her, storing it away for a rainy day to play back in my mind as she grows. Remember when....

This is Halloween...

I know I already did a blog today but I just had to do one more. Halloween. What a fun time we had. Saturday was a blast. First we went over to Beth and Wally's for a fearsome Halloween party. What a treat! The kids had a lot of fun and it was great to be able to sit back and enjoy the merriment. Everybody looked awesome in their Halloween costumes. Clover was a little lady bug (she even wore her hat for trick or treating) and Mason was Spiderman shooting countless webs at everyone he met. I sure wish I had some endless web shooting cartridges! After that we went and picked up Laurie then headed over to the Rogers for some trick or treat fun. Mason got awesome webs painted on his face by the lovely talented Mimi Rogers. Thank goodness because if I had tried he might end up looking like a rotten piece of fruit or worse! It was cold and rainy when we went out but that just meant a little bit less candy for some munchkins. Not that they didn't get a ton and I already sample some...Yummy! All in all it was a lot of fun. Pete just laughed at me because normally I am not that into Halloween. We never celebrated it growing up and I never got into it later I guess. This year was different. It is so much more fun when you have kids! I highly recommend it. Costumes, candy, parties, trick or treating what a great day! Pictures will come later since I couldn't find my camera. Thank goodness for everybody else who were prepared to document such a fun day!

Free Falling

Have you ever felt so excited you might explode but so anxious your going to puke your guts out at the same time. That's about how I am feeling. I am so completely excited about adding Mason to our family. He already is but the courts get to say so too and this will be the case on Wednesday. WOW!!! I feel like he completes us for the time being. I am also anxious about being who and what he needs me to be as well as keeping myself open and being what Clover and Pete need as well. I know I can do it I just get to find a balance and roll with the punches. However, I just want everything to be perfect. I want to be the perfect wife, perfect daughter, perfect sister, and perfect mom with the perfect kids with perfect relationships with everyone around us...Can you say perfectionist? There is no such thing as perfect I am quite aware but something in me craves that, almost needs it. I think this was instilled in me when I was younger and so desperate to please and I have never been able to shake it. Over the years that we have been together Pete has helped me to come to terms with a lot of things and accept imperfection as a reality but since we have had children I feel like I have reverted back to the old ways. The funny thing is, when I look at someone who has the image that I want to portray I feel sorry for the kids because they are not able to be kids. They aren't able to laugh and carry on and get dirty or joke or even mess up. I think that as a child these were the expectations for us. My dad was really sick for a long time even to the point of possibly dying without a kidney transplant and this tainted us being able to be kids because he wasn't able to handle the voracity of children. I kind of feel like that my childhood was stolen in a way. Now as I am raising children I desperately want them to be themselves, silly, innocent, priceless little beings but I am so stuck on my perceptions and the past that I am having trouble being everything to them I want to be. I love them with all my heart and only want the best for them. This means I get to do a lot of work to get back to where I want to be. I deserve that and so do they. There is a fun loving free spirited girl in there somewhere and these two sides are going to tear me apart if I don't let the past go and dive freely and fully into the future with my amazing husband, sweet children, and wonderful family. Here's to gettin' CRAZY up in here!!!

So....that's that.

I've been getting very mixed feedback from a lot of people about taking Mason into our home. Most is very positive and encouraging but I am also hearing some very discouraging things. Today I am feeling discouraged. I know beyond anything that this is the right choice. We are doing as God has called us to do. I understand this is not an easy situation for anybody involved. I understand there are many challenges ahead for all of us. I know I have never been in this situation before and don't know exactly what to expect but I am not in over my head. If given direction from God he will not leave you to fend for yourself. The right way is not always the easy way but I am willing to take it and face whatever challenge comes my way. I choose not to forget the negative but focus on the positive to prepare for whatever lies ahead. I am ecstatic that we have been chosen to take this sweet boy into our home. This is something that should be celebrated. Let's surround us all with support and positive feedback instead of criticism. Right now I just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs and hiding in corner. We all love Mason and want whats best for him and it has been agreed by anyone and everyone that is involved this is what's best for now. We don't know what the future holds but I am still excited to see God's plan for my life, Pete's life, Clover's life, Laurie's life, Mason's life and everyone else I love and cherish unfold, so celebrate what an amazing gift we have been given with me!

Football!!!

I get to go to the football game on Saturday! I am pretty excited. Brenda agreed to take both the little minkeys while we are there. That is pretty awesome because now I don't have to worry about a thing. I haven't been babyless for this amount of time all at once since before Clover was born. It should be fun. Adult conversation, hanging out with my super hot man and his dad and brother. Well, the conversation part might have to wait because I think the guys will be too involved in the game. That's ok. I hope the minkey's are well behaved. They usually are but when they start to get tired all bets are off. Here's to a good time and happy kids!!!